We all make at least one “resolution” because of the New Year. Typically they have to do with weight, savings, unhealthy habits, family, career, nutrition, personal organization or time management, exercise, etc. We can identify with at least one and may have made several resolutions in times past yet haven’t achieved them. As I began to think about my resolutions, a few barriers, that must be removed in order to be successful, came to mind. So I’ve summarized them as ten items and now sharing, with the hope that it may help someone in their process to resolve to be different in the coming year.
- Mindsets: If you want to improve and grow; it may require renewing your mind. Oftentimes we beat ourselves up because of failures or shortcomings in our personal lives, careers and daily interactions. Consequently we form negative beliefs about our limitations or capabilities; which causes emotions of insecurity, anxiety, discontent and in many instances jealousy. We have to shift from negative mindsets to positive ones and view ourselves as a work in progress. Write the vision of who you wish to become and rehearse the thoughts daily. The journey may not be smooth, but having a plan allows us to forge forward.
- Blaming others for “Our” Circumstances: We get emotional satisfaction from making others out to be the bad guy versus taking responsibility and more importantly control over our own destiny. Now, I’m not saying that we are the cause for all things since we know that there are some folks or organizations that have deliberately caused us harm; but that the vast majority of issues are under our control. Think about it…accepting responsibility when things go wrong allows us to think strategically about what we could have done to change the outcome: also known as controlling the things we can control. In doing so we accept responsibility for change while not developing the negative mindsets.
- Procrastination: In a nutshell, you put off things that should be the priory in exchange for doing something more enjoyable or simply avoiding the work. Putting off till tomorrow what you can do today because you’re mentally exhausted or not feeling well, isn’t necessarily procrastination, but not doing an important task or waiting till the last minute thus having suboptimal results is. In order to overcome this barrier: accept that you are in fact dodging the inevitable; identify why, and then develop tactics to prevent it from happening. In short just do it! And get it over with. You’ll appreciate doing so and accomplish so much more.
- Focus or lack thereof: We often sweat the small stuff and let it get in the way of progress. As a result we spend time and energy on issues that inhibit our ability to move forward. Distractions, whether people, places or things can cause us to lose focus; so paying attention to the process (or objectives) will reduce the burden of achieving the overall goal. For example, if your resolution is to lose 20 pounds and get those six pack abs (I’m a dreamer); concentrate on the daily activities like eating a well-rounded meal, getting sufficient rest, exercise, and reduce stress. So if you mess up on a particular day, you can always refocus on the next one, and the daily steps will help you to achieve the end goal.
- The Comfort Zone: We gravitate towards maintaining the status quo or staying the same because it’s easy and doesn’t require us to act. Having worked in healthcare for 30 years I’ve witnessed people on their death beds, who have expressed regrets are about things they wished they had done, and missed opportunities versus celebrating their lives and things they actually did. Life is really short, so strive to try something completely different by planning it, research it and then do it. Too often, some folks have said things to me like: “Wow, I wish I could travel like you do!” I simply respond to them: “well then do it!” We tend to use #1, #2, and #3 above to justify staying in our comfort zone. What is your desire?
- Fear of the unknown: A quote that I have enjoyed by Alan Patton is: “Fear is a journey, a terrible journey, but sorrow is at least an arrival.” Which means that at least you have an emotion that results from a journey that you actually chose to take in the first place. Fear keeps us from doing the things that we can and should by making us paralyzed to making the decision to begin. Overcoming our fear requires us to at least take the chance and if the result is failure; well at least we tried. However, if successful, will lead to liberating us to do greater things.
- Lack of Motivation: Peter Bregman wrote in an article for Harvard Business Review that: “Motivation is in the mind; follow-through is in the practice. Motivation is conceptual; follow-through is practical. In fact, the solution to a motivation problem is the exact opposite of the solution to a follow through problem. The mind is essential to motivation. But with follow through, it’s the mind that gets in the way.” This is so true! We let our minds get in the way of our actions. We also deceive ourselves into thinking that we need external sources, whether it be family, friends, our coach, minister or spouse to motivate us to take action; and while important the major influence to motivation is our willingness to take action.
- Family and Friends: Pursuing your goals should be celebrated by you, your loved ones; and you should feel supported in your quest. However, while you would expect those closest to you to encourage you and keep you accountable; sometimes your choice to do something different may be undermined. Now, this may not always be the case with many of us, but can happen more often than not. The intent here is not to create family or friend drama, but encourage you to be cautious with who you share your pearls (or your heart’s desire). In a multitude of counselors there is safety; however it’s better sometimes to keep close counsel and only reveal your plans to a few trusted and proven confidants. With the rest, wait for them to comment about how great you look, after you’ve lost weight - - or ask about the job change, after you’ve applied and landed it; before you share.
- Financial Limitations: Many working adults cite financial limitations as a major obstacle to achieving their goals. While it is an important factor, we tend to get so bogged down by them that we don’t look for creative solutions or alternatives to accomplishing New Year’s resolutions. One specific example that I will share is regarding a personal trainer to help with weight loss. Often times a personal trainer or gym membership isn’t required and we use 1 – 8 above as the reasons to support this barrier. Another example is with regards to saving money. Think for a moment how much you may use your income for items or things that are not necessary. Now think about if you reallocated the money to savings and did without those things. Imagine the reward by the end of the year.
- Setting Unrealistic Goals: Some resolutions are destined to fail from the outset because the goal is not smart. Now when I refer to smart it isn’t a play on our intelligence. Many of us are familiar with the term S.M.A.R.T., so I’ll expand for those who may not have heard of it. S – Specific, M – Measureable, A – Attainable, R – Realistic, T – Timely. Setting a specific goal allows for a greater opportunity to achieve it. Establishing measurements of success over time allows you to create daily “to-do’s” that support ongoing progress and keeps you accountable. Making sure the goal you chose can be accomplished is paramount and setting realistic goals that are time oriented allows you to measure your progress with things you are both willing and able to achieve.
These are the barriers in my mind that must be removed before actually creating a list of resolutions to achieve this year and hopefully will help you with developing yours and most importantly become successful.